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When a date turns into happily ever after

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Many of the “lessons” of the Star’s popular relationships column, Dating Diaries, have to do with the sad, painful or absurd realities of being “single and looking” in a city. But, there are also happier and more optimistic lessons to be found, like: sometimes, you just know. Sometimes, it really works out.

Many of our diarists recounted the date where they met their eventual husband, wife or otherwise “forever person” — sometimes on a date that didn’t seem all that promising or different from the others, at first.

When “Bernard” decided to try online dating in his 50s, he had “given up on the idea of being with someone again.” The first person to respond to his dating profile was “Greta.” He said “There were about 10 other messages from women that came in after hers, but I was immediately drawn to Greta’s picture: she was a smiling, sweetlooking person who exuded warmth and sincerity.” When they met, Bernard said “I saw Greta walk in, smiling and looking for me. She was everything her pictures showed, and more. I have always scorned the idea of love at first sight, but this was it.” After admitting that he was “petrified,” they talked for over two hours, and then went for a walk. “As cliché as it may sound, and would have sounded to me hours before, I knew that I was walking beside the woman with whom I wanted to walk for the rest of my days.”

“Adam” met “Christina” at the mall, and convinced her to come to a party at his place that night. Adam had also invited other women who were interested in him — which Christina noticed. When she left, Adam didn’t know if he would ever see her again, but the next morning

Christina reappeared at Adam’s house, to take him up on his offer from the night before to go skating. “She was freezing to death in the cold, but ready for anything. Perfect.” Adam later asked her why she had come to the party, and she said that a psychic had told her that “her future depended on her being more open about the type of people she dated.” Three months later, they were engaged.

“Liem’s” roommate was dating “Veronica’s” roommate, and they all went out to get acquainted. “By chance, Veronica and I ended up sitting across from each other. She was “upbeat, outgoing, sweet but with some attitude. Her positive attitude countered my constant sarcasm.” They had a “natural rapport” and “instant chemistry.” Liem wrote: “It’s hard to put into words why two people click right away, right? Something chemical is going on. But I just knew, immediately.”

He had to leave early, because he had a date that night. “The whole time I was on my date, I was thinking about Veronica. I ended the date early and went back to Veronica’s apartment, where she and our roommates were still hanging out. I got her number, and a few days later I asked her out to dinner. She said yes right away. Later, she told me that she’d had plans that night that she blew off.” They got married a year later.

“Annabeth” went into her date with “Leon” cynically. She wrote “I’ve been active on different dating sites for several years. It’s usually the same thing, over and over again: connect with someone online, communicate with them via email, move to talking on the phone, arrange for an afternoon coffee date, meet, chat, feel no chemistry, see no sparks flying, never communicate or meet again.” However, when they met “on a warm, sunny evening,” the attraction was “mutual and instant.” Leon “looked exactly like his photo” and, Annabeth adds, “he sounded exactly like the man I’d been having conversations with on the phone.” They had things in common: Annabeth and Leon had lived in the same building at the same time; they had the same family doctor; and they had been part of the same charity event. After a dinner of “intense” conversation, Leon asked Annabeth to his place for dinner for their second date. “We had one lovely kiss in the dark, in the parking lot.” They got married, too, two years later.

After a post-divorce period of “no dating, relationships or muddy emotional waters,” our diarist “Lenore” met “Deckard” online. She wrote “He asked really smart questions, and answered mine with a lot of thoughtful detail. I asked him out for coffee; he raised the bar to brunch.” On the way to meet him, Lenore realized she had been so into their conversation she had never checked out his profile, and didn’t know what he looked like, and couldn’t remember his name. (She remembered, at the restaurant, when she saw his blue eyes.)

He was already eating, which “decentred” her; she was “all over the place: nervous and shaky.” When she mentioned she had a kid, Deckard froze.

Lenore said “My thoughts got stuck on a negative track until the date officially died about 20 minutes after that. I was sure I’d tanked it.” She realized she liked him at the end of the date, and “miraculously, he texted a few days later, apparently undaunted by my motherhood status.” They got married the day their Dating Diary ran, as a surprise “gift” for Deckard.

I have always scorned the idea of love at first sight, but this was it … I knew that I was walking beside the woman with whom I wanted to walk for the rest of my days.

BERNARD, WHEN HE FIRST SAW GRETA

CULTURE

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2022-05-21T07:00:00.0000000Z

2022-05-21T07:00:00.0000000Z

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